So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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