i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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