Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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