I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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