Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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