You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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