why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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