i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
