Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
