you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize