thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize