It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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