I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Your shirt... Was in my pants
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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