i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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