dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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