i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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