I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
