If that was your dad, he is hot
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
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I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
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He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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