i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
