Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
