Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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