How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
