Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
