This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
