I love black thongs
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
