tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
