did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
