You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
