if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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