3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Damn victory sex feels great
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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