Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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