just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
