Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
