My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize