She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
nutella sex= disaster
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize