I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
