There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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