Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.

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  (847): I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags. http://tfl.nu/hgni
  Replies (18) Good night (6167) Bad night (869)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.

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  (307): if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself. http://tfl.nu/s9we
  Replies (64) Good night (1895) Bad night (4788)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life

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  (267): while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life http://tfl.nu/pj1v
  Replies (16) Good night (7653) Bad night (757)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.

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  (416): She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me. http://tfl.nu/1tg4
  Replies (16) Good night (1407) Bad night (4907)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.

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  (937): I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge. http://tfl.nu/8lhz
  Replies (19) Good night (4411) Bad night (1003)
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  (916): View more from California

  I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.

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  (916): I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter. http://tfl.nu/a3e6
  Replies (4) Good night (1024) Bad night (2542)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo

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  (317): We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo http://tfl.nu/qbn3
  Replies (14) Good night (779) Bad night (1741)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS

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  (416): DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS http://tfl.nu/59kb
  Replies (8) Good night (2048) Bad night (836)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She's got a legit dose of dude going on

  (240): View more from Maryland

  No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.

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  (240): Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden (202): She's got a legit dose of dude going on (240): No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne. http://tfl.nu/qro2
  Replies (6) Good night (905) Bad night (1786)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt

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  (651): I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt http://tfl.nu/h1u7
  Replies (9) Good night (638) Bad night (2506)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.

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  (+44): I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches. http://tfl.nu/i131
  Replies (6) Good night (1294) Bad night (401)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.

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  (317): Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices. http://tfl.nu/v5r6
  Replies (3) Good night (999) Bad night (461)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.

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  (256): That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was. http://tfl.nu/kyou
  Replies (1) Good night (596) Bad night (445)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.

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  (812): Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers. http://tfl.nu/ldne
  Replies (2) Good night (723) Bad night (245)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?

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  (915): She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex? http://tfl.nu/yio0
  Replies (1) Good night (613) Bad night (214)

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