I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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