Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Houston, we have a blender
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.