this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?