Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry. http://tfl.nu/7406
  Replies (19) Good night (857) Bad night (3228)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  this boner is exhausting

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): this boner is exhausting http://tfl.nu/qxdc
  Replies (26) Good night (4298) Bad night (1278)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot. http://tfl.nu/xny3
  Replies (35) Good night (5566) Bad night (1581)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done http://tfl.nu/rbbz
  Replies (23) Good night (5763) Bad night (1170)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Are you pooping in the stall next to me?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Maybe....

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): Are you pooping in the stall next to me? (404): Maybe.... (540): Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts. http://tfl.nu/wph3
  Replies (82) Good night (4467) Bad night (5244)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  bc i get to see you. naked.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid? (203): bc i get to see you. naked. http://tfl.nu/db7h
  Replies (24) Good night (8387) Bad night (1448)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn. http://tfl.nu/voym
  Replies (44) Good night (10467) Bad night (1885)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her. http://tfl.nu/6guc
  Replies (10) Good night (4618) Bad night (1246)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days. http://tfl.nu/h902
  Replies (11) Good night (2122) Bad night (1015)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon http://tfl.nu/yvmd
  Replies (15) Good night (2008) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this. http://tfl.nu/q4h5
  Replies (10) Good night (1025) Bad night (3939)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text http://tfl.nu/b0kp
  Replies (3) Good night (406) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out.. http://tfl.nu/vlup
  Replies (3) Good night (628) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests http://tfl.nu/hq9w
  Replies (0) Good night (685) Bad night (410)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year! http://tfl.nu/390j
  Replies (13) Good night (431) Bad night (1226)

Randomize