and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
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The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
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I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?