i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach