you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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