How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
