i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.