You're so nebulous sometimes
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Green mimosas i think yes
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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