Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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