Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
