I want to have your abortion
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
