If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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