u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
