exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
