i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You need Xanax blowdarts
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
