READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
