the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
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I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
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Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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