So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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