i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
