If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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